Life as a Refugee

The dictionary states that a refugee is ‘a person who has been forced to leave their country in order to escape war, persecution, or natural disaster.’

Okay, we weren’t forced to flee our country of Kenya but with the COVID-19 virus, doesn’t it count as a natural disaster? Conspiracy theories aside, it definitely has thrown a spanner in the works for billions of people.

Lives have been lost, livelihoods destroyed, families separated, lots of online fearmongering.

I know of quite a few people, who like us, have been totally displaced and nothing we do can plan for the future. The very Sunday before we were locked down in New Zealand, we were at a church and as I was speaking to a lady there, her son and soon-to-be daughter in-law were meant to get married that Saturday. They had travelled from England to get married in front of their families. They left their homes, jobs and friends and like us, are now stuck here without any idea of when they can return. On one of our daily walks with the grandkids I’ve met a man whose wife is back in England and he is locked down here while visiting their grandkids. Another friend was out from Tanzania was visiting family, with her husband back home, and again, can’t get back.

These are but a few of the hundreds of thousands of people in the same boat.

lockdown

Lockdown means something different in every country. In New Zealand for 4 weeks the only time you were permitted out of your house was to go out for fresh air or one family member to visit the supermarket. I broke a tooth so had an online appointment with a dentist and then went in the next day to get it fixed. Their doors were locked, so had to let them know when I arrived, I had to use hand sanitizer and then glove up.

For most, they are bunked down at family or friends homes. They have no income and no way to even think of employment in a country they haven’t lived in for decades. The only clothes you have are the few you packed for a short trip, and the weather is changing.

We are SO grateful to our daughter and son-in-law who have allowed us to bunk on an airbed at their place. We get to see our grandkids every day and can fit some work in between entertaining them. One of the things I’ve always said is that I love my kids, but I don’t want to live with them. For the first 5 weeks of lockdown I didn’t even unpack my hand luggage which has all of my clothes. It was easier to deny than to accept the situation.

As development workers we solely rely on our friends and family for financial support. Thankfully we have not seen a drop in donations, but we only live on $500 a week and a lot of that goes on rent and other expenses we are still paying for in Nairobi. You get something like a broken tooth that costs you $450 and it leaves you really stretched for important items like food. Without the support of our kids I have no idea what we would do. It’s also put them out a lot. Luke has to teach online so a lot of the time he has to hide in the kids room. They were going to put 6 month old Naomi into the room we’re sleeping in, but now can’t. Sure, we’re giving back where we can but for people who are hosting us refugees, it’s a real labour of love. Good news is, we haven’t killed each other yet.

We anticipated that we would be speaking most of the time in schools or business groups so would be wearing one of two dresses I packed. Besides that, it’s black tee shirts and jeans. Oh for some variety.

Like everyone else, lockdown is a mental challenge, not just a physical one.

The big question on every human’s mind is ‘when will this end’ or more importantly ‘when will life get back to normal’?

For we refugees, the big question is ‘when can we go home’?  Sure, airlines are giving credit for cancelled flights but then you have to pay the price difference when you rebook and where do you find the cash for this? It was heartbreaking to cancel our trip to Hawaii for a conference and then slowly cancel all of the other flights. I had got such sale prices on all of our flights that we will need to find thousands of dollars to rebook.

Of course for us this was meant to be our big fundraising tour for the year. It has caused us to rethink how we do things and bring plans forward a year. Storage facilities, online meetings, making sales via Facebook. We’re doing what we can to bring in funds to keep our staff and projects going but we will have a big shortfall in 2020.

We’re not the only ones though. It’s affecting thousands of development organisations like BeyondWater. People are being laid off from work, projects can’t operate because of a drop in funding and vulnerable people are in even more dire situations than ever before.

So, what does a refugee do in a situation like this? Like everyone else we take one day at a time and hope that we all adjust to the new ‘normal’ future we all will have to embrace. It is also a huge bonus that we have a personal faith that rests on such scriptures as Romans 8:28 ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

Living With A DVT

April 9th

I thought to myself “I’m definitely going for a walk along the beach tomorrow morning.’

 

April 10th

‘Something is wrong and I think I need to go to hospital.’

 

5.45am

I work up with what felt like a pulled muscle on my left inner thigh. I got up and did some stretches, which made absolutely no difference. I went back to bed and couldn’t even stand having a sheet over my leg.

 

7.00am

I woke up Pete and said ‘Something is wrong with my leg, I think I need to go to a medical clinic.’ When I got up I saw that my leg was swollen to twice the size from my knee up, except I didn’t actually have a knee to speak of. I knew the day was going to be long so I insisted on a 30 second shower even though standing was a killer.

Then I discovered that I couldn’t even dress myself. Another reason husbands are handy.

 

7.45am

We finally got to a health clinic in Whangaparoa. I hobbled into the reception and they got me a wheelchair. I’ve never been so relieved. The doctor there wondered if Elephantiasis was rampant. My thought was ’Dude, that was a waste of your medical studies’. Even I knew what it was.

$98 later we were told to go to the hospital because they would get the blood results back faster.

leg

Rest of the Day

We got in pretty fast to the Emergency Department of the North Shore Hospital. The first doctor, who was from South Africa agreed it was probably a Deep Vein Thrombosis. Basically the rest of the day was having blood tests, waiting for results, getting injections, and having an ultrasound. Because it came on so suddenly and had been 5 weeks after I had flown they needed to check that the clot hadn’t broken off and gone to my lungs or heart.

The specialists told me I have a DVT that runs from the top of my thigh to my knee. It’s a super big one.

Just as I was to admit me to the hospital they realised my address was in another district, so I had to be transported to Middlemore Hospital. So, after picking up Liz, who had been waiting all day at a friends, we went through peak traffic to the other side of Auckland.

There we were at 7pm eating Subway while waiting for a bed.

Pete was flying out the next day to Canberra to do a painting job which couldn’t be cancelled, so we packed Liz off to Hannah’s and Pete went home to pack.

 

Since Then

Hospitals aren’t the quietest places to recuperate. Injections, more tests, blood pressure checks, bad food, noisy environment. Thankfully I was released the next afternoon once I had mastered injecting myself. All you do is make sure there’s no air bubbles in the needle, grab some fat, shove the needle in and push down until you hear a pop. Sounds easy right? Even after 10 days of this, it never became easy.

I left the hospital with crutches (on those for 2 weeks), lots of painkillers (drugs are awesome) and 6 months worth of blood thinners.

I made sure I wasn’t a martyr and took the painkillers religiously, not that I had a choice. The pain was incredible. I had to go and buy track pants because I couldn’t fit my jeans. I even had to buy bigger undies because mine were cutting into my swollen thigh.

Hannah made up for a leg rub of coconut oil, frankincense and a whole lot of other anti-inflammatory essential oils. Not sure if it helped, but it sure smelt good.

I came off crutches after two weeks, and just used them occasionally for another week. Thankfully I could still drive, but when Pete came back, he did all of the driving.

I have to be super religious about taking high dose blood thinners twice a day. I can’t skip a dose, and I have to have it with food. Even after 2 months I still forget to take them.

When I return to New Zealand in September I’ll go for a review to see when I can wean off the medication.

According to the specialists if I cut myself, I’ll just bleed more, but if I fall and hit my head, I need to go to the hospital immediately. I definitely bruise a lot easier and a wound takes weeks to repair itself.

 

Today:

I was told I need to wear a compression stocking, but what the doctors didn’t tell me is that I will have to wear it for 2 years. It’s quite warm here in Kenya, and dusty. By the afternoon my leg definitely swells up but nowhere near what it used to.

A weird thing is that my ankle, my knee and the inside of my thigh ache and burns. Mr. Google can’t tell me anything and I guess I’ll have to just live with it.

A really noticeable thing is my speed. I can walk for about 30 minutes before I have to rest and now I walk really, really slow. I have to swing my leg because it feels heavy. My goal is that by September I can start running, but I’m not super confident of that right now.

While it’s a major hassle, I’m really grateful the DVT happened in New Zealand. They have top medical care and it didn’t cost me a thing. If I was in Kenya there is a high chance that I might not be here today and if I could’ve got to a hospital, it would’ve cost thousands of dollars (which we don’t have).

People assume that everything is all better, but it’s not, but I am getting there. My leg aches a lot of the time, like 80% of my day and night.

So it will improve, and thankfully I have a patient husband who tries not to hit every pothole on the road (sometimes there’s more potholes than road) because he knows it’s painful for me.

 

Life is good, we need to make every day above the grave a good one – regardless of how we feel.

Navigating Airports

You can’t avoid airports, but you can help yourself and make it easier. Some people make it bigger than Ben Hur so let me help you out by giving you some tips.

 

  1. Travel as light as possible

Everyone packs way too much stuff. Pack for 4 changes of clothes – remember you can always wash them! Weigh your bags BEFORE you get to the airport. You can go to places like Kmart and for less than $10 buy a small bag weighing scale. There’s nothing more stressful than to get all the way to the airport and either getting whacked with excessive baggage fees or having to dump some of your gear on the lovely people that dropped you off.

Best not to go over the limit on your hand luggage weight as some airlines weigh that bag as well.

bags

  1. Check in online

If possible, check in online before you get to the airport. This saves you time and also covers you if you get stuck in traffic on the way.

 

  1. Get to the airport early

I would much rather be bored at an airport than stressing while sitting in a taxi which is stuck in a traffic jam. Try to avoid peak traffic times for transit. Before you travel, check which of your airports does have free wifi.

traffic

  1. Get your money exchanged at a bank and not at the airport

You’ll get a worse rate at the airport than anywhere else. US dollars are accepted in any country so always have some of those to keep you going. Pretty much at any airport you can buy things in US dollars as well. Also have several ways to access your money. If your wallet gets stolen or lost, what can you do to get cash? When traveling I carry one card with me, and leave the other in a safe place, just in case. Also download an exchange rate app on your phone so you have a good idea of what things will cost you.

 

  1. Wear easily removable shoes

It would be great if all airports had the same way of doing things, but they don’t. When going through security checks sometimes you have to take off your shoes, and at other times you don’t. Keep an eye out for what others are doing, and don’t be afraid to ask. If possible, wear slip on shoes at the airport, it makes easier. If not, at least undo your laces before getting into line. Always, always get your laptop out early.

shoe

  1. Take a jacket

I’ve been on a 14 hour flight from Abu Dhabi to Sydney and frozen my butt off. Literally everyone on the plane had one or two blankets over them. We were all complaining about how cold it was and yet they didn’t turn up the temperature! I always carry a hoodie on the plane just in case. Wear comfortable and breathable clothes.

 

  1. Keep your passport on you

I was in a toilet at the Auckland Airport and there sitting on top of the toilet roll dispenser was someone’s passport. Of course, I took it to a security officer and then I heard the person’s name called out over a public announcement. I’m always super conscious about NOT losing my passport. In lots of places you can’t even hold your passport as you go through the security scanner, so don’t forget to take it out of the tray!

passport

  1. Go directly to the gate

I always tell people that once you’re through the security checks go directly to your gate so you know where it is. There’s nothing more embarrassing than your name being called repeatedly over the sound system and then a whole plane load of people give you the hate look as you finally make your way onto the plane.

hall

  1. Walk as much as possible

You’ll be sitting down for a very long time on some of your flights. Try and walk as much as possible while in the airport rather than sitting down all of the time. After a couple of days of flying I’ve even resorted to laying on the floor just to catch some sleep for a few minutes. Otherwise I get on my phone on the free wifi and walk when I can. When you’re on the plane get up every now and then for a quick walk or at least do some foot exercises to keep the puffiness down.

 

  1. Wait to be called

When the staff call people up for the flight they will always ask for those who are part of their loyalty program, then those with small children or needing assistance and then by zones. Sometimes it becomes a stampede, as if people are going to miss their flight! It must be frustrating for the staff when they ask for Zone B people and Zone A rock on up. All they do is send you to the back of the line. There’s no harm in waiting.

lines

Don’t presume that everyone on your flight or in the airport have flown before. I met two ladies in their mid twenties who were flying from Johannesburg to Bali and I was shocked that they were first timers. They were fretting about our flight delay because they didn’t know about time zones.

I’ve a Split Personality

I’ve been away from our African home for 3 weeks now and I’ve suddenly realized that I’ve got what used to be called a split personality, now it’s known as having a Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Here’s one definition:

‘dissociative identity disorder is a severe form of dissociation, a mental process which produces a lack of connection in a person’s thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity’ (webmd.com)

Most of us turn towards Hollywood on this issue where we see someone suddenly transform into a totally different person and go ‘Oh, they have a split personality’.

Why on Earth would I confess to this?

It’s quite easy really. I was in the car with Pete and we agreed that we felt like fish out of water in a country that we call our ‘other home’. Sure, we hold an NZ passport but it doesn’t make us Kiwis. We are a mixed breed – born in New Zealand, spent a good number of years in Australia but Kenya feels more home than any other place.

tea 2

This does not taste like Kenyan tea.

We literally have to speak a different language, dress differently and act differently. I still get shocked that there is no place in cafes to wash your hands before you eat. It rains here A LOT and it’s the coldest we’ve been in a long time. Temperature wise it’s not that cold but it’s a chill that goes to the bones.

It’s almost like we have to put away our ‘Africa lifestyle’ and pretend that we belong here.

But there’s this tugging of a war inside of me. I’ve adapted and become someone else who doesn’t fit in here, I’m just pretending. I feel like the real me is waiting back in Nairobi.

It’s not that I’m not making the most of it, it just feels weird. I’m loving time with family and the food here is phenomenal, there’s no doubt about that. When I’m skyping my team back home I can slide back into my comfort zone. Even after a few weeks of being away, I feel like there’s a strong pull to East Africa while here I am not connected to much Kiwiana at all.

So what’s the answer?

I think I will embrace my very different ‘mes’, while I’m full on Kiwi on the outside, on the inside I’m very Kenyan. I’ll keep speaking English out loud and Swahili in my head. I’ll use knife and fork with my chicken here but gladly use fingers in Kenya.  I’ll get to understand how this new country of mine (for 2 months) works and then miss the simplicity of it when I return home.

sevens

And yes, the Kenyans beat the Kiwis in the sevens.

When you see me, feel free to say ‘habari za asubuhi’ (good morning) and you will make my day, but I warn you, my Kenyan side might come out in full swing!

 

 

Transport on the ground

For a quick video of this blog you can go HERE.

If there’s only one or two of you traveling you should look at alternatives to hiring a car. When you hire a car you need to look at including insurance costs. The last thing you want is to be out of pocket by thousands of dollars if you have an accident.

oyster

For use in London

Another alternative is to go on public transport. My husband hates going on public transport but even he concedes that it’s a much cheaper way to go. However, you have to do your homework before you get on the plane. If there’s a group of you, it might be easier and cost effective to grab an Uber. If there’s just a couple of you and there’s a bus, train or ferry to where you want to go, why not try one of these.

metro

Metro Card for NYC

Before you leave home make sure you download maps and travel apps for the country/city you’re going to. Google Maps is my fallback. You don’t always have internet when traveling so take the stress out of it all. Also look into whether it’s better to get a one day, 7 day or 24 hour card. Some places like in London cap the daily use to a certain amount, meaning you can travel as much as you like for six pounds. It doesn’t take many trips on the Tube to get to six pounds. In other places you can transfer from a train to a bus at no extra cost if it’s within 2 hours.

opal

Opal card for New South Wales, Australia

Like I said – do your homework before you leave home. We wasted $30 on paying for a travel card we didn’t need.

Most places you will find a vending machine to obtain your card. Then you put as much money on it as you want. A lot of times you can use your credit or debit card. Don’t forget to keep your card as they don’t expire. We have cards from Dubai, Australia, the UK and NYC ready to use for the next time.

dubai

Metro card for use in Dubai

Going on public transport might take you a bit longer but it can certainly save you a lot of dollars and you also get to see how ordinary people do life there. Give it a go.

Where Have You Been?

We’ve literally spent since February on the road. Pete and Liz travelled to Uganda, back to Kenya, Tanzania, Zambia, Botswana and then South Africa, just to drop off a safari vehicle for someone. They then hitched a flight from Johannesburg back to Nairobi then on to Abu Dhabi, Sydney and then Auckland. All that time Sharon was with their growing family in New Zealand.

Once Pete and Liz arrived, the three of us spent April through to July travelling throughout New Zealand speaking to schools, Rotary Clubs, churches, mens and womens meetings, talking about our work in East Africa.

liz n bub

Right now we’re in Sydney, but have spent the last few weeks in Canberra, Melbourne and Tasmania. The reason we went to Tasmania was to visit one of the kids from Kenya who we helped get to Australia, his father was a refugee here. So we kept our word and went all the way down. This Thursday we head to Queensland for a week. We’re looking forward to the warmth but won’t have much of a chance to relax as there’s plenty of speaking opportunities and catchups with people that we know.

IMG_5530

A big reason to return to Sydney was to rebuild our team which had depleted over the last few years. Because we work with volunteers, it’s very hard to keep our people. One day, we hope to employ people at this end of the world.

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So this trip has been part fundraiser, part family and friend catchup but pretty much all business. It’s been great but we’re looking forward to returning home to Kenya to our hard working team who have been doing a great job.

_MG_5428

We’re Not In Kansas Any More Toto

The enormity of what we are undertaking this year is really sinking in now. Who in their right mind would spend 6 months away from Kenya and try and raise $50,000 for projects as well as double their own personal income? The itinerary is always evolving and there are lots of variables to work with that complicate it. It’s an insane plan and I sure hope it pays off.

So here we are, in our country of birth (New Zealand), total strangers to the system, language, food and culture. Google maps confuses me as it says the names of the roads in an odd accent and isn’t helping me pronounce Maori words.

You would think that after 6 weeks I would’ve become accustomed to things here. Actually, I’m better than Pete and Liz who’ve only just arrived. I feel sorry for them because I understand what a head spin it is being here.  nz

The Driving

People indicate! Wow, what an experience. Everyone here complains about how bad the traffic is. Ha, if they only knew what it could really be like. I have to admit that it gets frustrating having to wait for the traffic lights to change, it seems like forever. I don’t like driving at night but here I’ve done it a few times and because of the overhead lights and reflector lights on the roads, it is no effort.

 

Food

The variety of food here is AMAZING! I can even get gluten free food wherever I go. However, there is lots of food we shouldn’t be eating because of the sugar levels. Fruit is fairly expensive and when you pay 10 times the amount for a smaller avocado, it does your head in. For the first time in about 6 years we’ve had fejoas, which is phenomenal. The problem is that we are here for a few months and because of the good food, we’ve all put on weight already.

 

Language

I’ve never heard so many ‘sweet as’ and ‘sure bro’ in one conversation. Even coming from people serving at a counter, the answer always seems to be ‘sweet as’. I suppose it’s better than saying ‘cool’ after every conversation. Kiwis say a lot of ‘aye’ at the end of their sentences. Pete’s picked it up so that just about every sentence finishes with ‘aye’ and it drives me up the wall. I hope it’s something he can wean off when we leave.

 

Shopping

The sales here are phenomenal. Whenever we come out of Kenya, we always have a shopping list ready to go. Things in Kenya are very expensive and we know that places like NZ and Aussie have great sales. In Kenya it’s a sale if there is 1 or 2 percent discount. I picked up a frying pan that had 50% off, now that’s a sale. Unfortunately we couldn’t find many summer clothes to take home because it’s all about winter here now. However, after a few weeks I’m a bit tired of trailing the malls for a good deal. All we seem to have done is see the inside of the car, the inside of a meeting room and the inside of a mall.

 

The Reverse Culture Shock will pass, but it might take some time. How did you cope when moving to another country?

The Medical Gap

As pretty much the entire universe knows, our youngest daughter gave birth to the most perfect baby girl on Wednesday. But it hasn’t been without its dramas.

Hannah has had gestational diabetes throughout her pregnancy. That means she has had to cut out sugar, reduce her carbs and test her insulin levels 5 times a day. There’s extra scans and monitoring baby growth closer.

Baby had been super active in the womb and it was all looking good that the doctors had decided to let Hannah go right up to the 40 week mark, where originally they were going to induce her at 38 weeks.

And then baby stopped moving.

This was one of those events that stops your heartbeat. I suggested to Hannah to call the midwife whose care she was under, who said we should immediately go to the hospital. Luke (Hannah’s husband) drove pretty determinedly but there was this heavy silence in the car. No waiting, they saw us straight away. The relief experienced when we heard the heartbeat was huge. They decided to keep her in anyway.

Although baby’s heartbeat was good, the doctors had decided to induce baby on the Tuesday night. Not sure why they chose nighttime as the morning seemed a much better idea to me.

babe

I was really impressed with the staff, the quality of care but mostly the concern for baby and mother. The resources and technology are amazing, way better than when I had my kids 25 years ago.

Of course, it all got me thinking about the huge gap between what is available here and that in developing countries. I’ve friends in Kenya who have had babies and it’s a whole different world there.

 

  1. The God Factor

I call it this, because there tends to be a thinking in East Africa from people in certain positions – medical staff, police, teachers – which says ‘Don’t you know who I am, I must be obeyed without questions at all times’.

Kenya: You would never dare question what the doctor says and you simply don’t ask.

NZ: They give you informed options and don’t flinch if you question them ‘why’ or ‘could we try this’.

hospital 2

  1. The Price

Kenya: While there is a policy of free maternity care, practically it’s not so. You need to pay for services like scans. I’ve close friends who didn’t have the $30 for a scan and had a breach baby who died 20 minutes after birth because of complications. The emergency cesarean section would’ve saved his life but that was around $800. They only earn $200 a month. You need to take everything in with you to hospital.

NZ: Every single thing is free. Food, personal bathrooms, sanitary products, scans, hospital stay, sheets, pillows and even free wifi.

tray

We met a young 18 year old who had been raped and become pregnant. We arrived on the day she gave birth to her son. She was not allowed to leave hospital because her family did not have the funds for payment. Every day she stayed the debt was accruing. No doubt the family had to borrow money to get the girl home.

 

  1. Rooms

Kenya: Don’t be surprised if you are sharing a room with 8 other women. Imagine a metre between your bed and the next. Babies are often kept in a nursery, except for feeding.

NZ: While there’s the odd room that will have 4 beds in it, most are single or doubles. Baby is in your sight at all times, in a plastic bassinet beside you.

hospital 1

  1. The Birth

Kenya: I’ve yet to meet a Kenyan man who has been in the birthing room. It’s just not done any other way. In rural areas it’s older women who assist.

NZ: At the hospital our daughter went to, you could have as many support people as possible. In the birthing unit you could have two.

Nairobi has a few really good hospitals, so if you can afford to go to them you do. One is notorious for bad after birth care, but people go there because it’s free.

Our close friends whose baby died not long after a breach birth were forced to go to one such hospital. She should’ve had a c-section but the staff said to her that the lines to the theatre were long and ‘she carried small so she should deliver okay’. Of course, as in Kenyan culture, the dad went home (by public transport) but was called back because something was wrong. When he got there he was told his son had died. He never got to hold him because there was ‘confusion’ to the whereabouts of his sons’ body. He was told it was in the morgue, went there and they said to him he was on the ward. Went to the ward and was told he was in the morgue. What the attendants really wanted was bribe money. A terrible experience to an unnecessary tragedy.

Of course, if you have money, nothing is a worry. I’ve friends who’ve been in birthing centres in Nairobi and loved it. I’ve also known people who travel for half an hour on a motorbike to a rural clinic to give birth, all by themselves.

I applaud the work of Kenya’s First Lady – Mrs. Margaret Kenyatta in creating Beyond Zero which aims to improve maternal health. She is using her position to bring about awareness and change in a much needed area.

Me, one of my goals to is ensure that remote medical clinics have access to water, latrines and hand washing facilities. It’s high on our 3 year goal.

bed

Every life is precious no matter where they are born. For me, I’m getting to enjoy my short time with Isabella Rose and find inspiration every time I look at her to help other children across East Africa have a great start in life.

drugs

 

 

 

 

When We Return Home

It feels weird to say I’m going home, because Kenya is home for us and the thought of leaving it for 6 months just breaks my heart. I definitely want to be with our daughter Hannah for the arrival of our first grandbaby but leaving Nairobi, everyone close to us and the familiarity of home weighs heavy on me.

han

Hannah is ready to go!

I thought I would write about how YOU can help others like me who return to their home land, even though it is foreign for us. You see we often don’t understand the language, culture, politics and general day to day procedures in our homeland

To me, home is where my heart is at that time and especially where I am with my husband. While were living in Australia that was definitely home. I’ve returned a few times since being on assignment in Kenya and now I feel uncomfortable there. I’ve had several friends move back permanently to their homelands and I’ve asked them how long it took for them to adjust and they all say at least 8 weeks. I can identify with this as we spent 6 weeks in the States last year and it got quite comfortable by the end of the trip.

 

Sharon’s Tips:

  1. Give us time.

Homecomers (HC) usually travel a long way to get back. For me it was more than 30 hours in transit, that’s a really long time. I have done longer but on my ticket I had to be back in New Zealand by a certain date. It can take up to a week to get over jetlag.

Besides that though there are often things HC have to deal with. Organising bank accounts, health checks, drivers licenses and buying appropriate clothes for the local scene. And of course, you have to figure out how to get from A to B to do those things. We only hold Kenyan drivers licenses but it looks like we have to re-sit everything to get our New Zealand ones. That means I have to spend time studying, making sure I get my crazy driving ways out of my system and get to obey the laws here.

While it’s great to catch up with everyone, we come with a priority. For me, it was our daughter. For others it may be relocating back permanently or sorting out family issues. I had lots of people sending me messages and requests for catch ups and I’d only been in the country for 24 hours. It was all a bit much when what I really wanted to do was to just sit down after more than 3 years and watch a movie with my daughter.

flight

Just after landing

 

  1. Don’t assume.

A really hard things is that people assume that you know people, politics, current affairs and where to go for something. While we get a lot of news online, it’s just one of many things our brains are taking in. Our main focus is on the foreign country where we are based, not our homeland. Yes we attend events at embassies but that is to catch up with people of the same nationality and relax for a night. We know who our ambassador or high commissioner are but we don’t know who the MP is in the suburb we used to live in.

 

I haven’t lived in NZ for 15 years, it’s pretty much ALL foreign to me.

 

  1. Realise we are in two minds/hearts.

While we want to be with our families in times of need, we also have a new family in our foreign country. We have a new set of friends there, a new way of living, a new reality. We adjust.

When we return to our homeland we are torn in two. While we try to adjust here, our thoughts are with what is happening in the country we’ve just left. Today is the 2nd birthday of Alisa, our friends daughter. Tomorrow a group of friends will be going to their house for her party. We gave a gift to be unwrapped then but we will miss out on all of the fun. You can’t help but think about it, yet you wouldn’t be anywhere else right now.

Some people are forced to come back to their homeland as their visa might have run out, or there are family matters to attend to. Some have HAD to return for their kids. It’s very expensive to fly your whole family back so many have to decide who gets to return every now and then to the foreign country.

 

kids

At the beach for the first time in over a year

  1. Invite us home.

We find that people like to meet up for coffee or take us out for meals. While that’s great try and see it from our viewpoint. It costs at least double to go to a restaurant and we often think in our minds ‘I could take that extra $70 and put a kid through school for a couple of months’. Do that 20 times and you see a number of children’s faces or the local street children who could actually be getting educated rather than begging, or worse.

We come out for a couple of months at a time but hardly ever get invited into peoples homes. When you’re out speaking/fundraising you get tired of seeing the inside of buildings, offices and meeting rooms. You’re presenting non-stop about your cause, which you are passionate about, and you don’t get ‘down time’. Last time I was on tour I just got my feet wet in the ocean and my daughter said “Mum, your next appointment is early”. 30 seconds is all I got – our ocean is a 9 hour drive away.

 

Give us an option of where to meet.

 

  1. Support us.

It’s VERY expensive to travel to our homeland. It’s the number one reason we don’t return more often. Many of us rely on personal donors to keep us in the field. Some people just stop supporting because they think that the money isn’t needed any more. Often it’s the opposite. Many times things like eating out are cheaper overseas but that’s about it. If you’re going to stop financially supporting someone, at least write them an email explaining it.

 

  1. We still have a job to do.

When we are in New Zealand and Australia this year we are travelling to schools and Rotary clubs to try and raise project funds. It’s certainly no holiday when you return, even though people think so. There’s lots of emails, contacting your team back in the foreign country, making sure there’s funds for projects, visiting people here, grant writing, setting up legal entities and more. You are also working across time zones to balance everything out.

Work does not stop just because you’re in a different geographical place. It’s hard because you want to spend time with everyone but need to keep working. My brother asked what I’m up to while here and I really couldn’t be bothered trying to explain that I’m working because he just wouldn’t get it.

To me a holiday is hanging at the beach with the family, everyone off their phones and out playing games. This trip is so not a holiday. We need to quadruple our personal support level to be able to return to the work we do. Money does not automatically come in and it takes a lot of arm twisting to convince people to part with their hard earned dollars.

me

 

 

 

How We Travelled With No Money For Two Months

We’ve just done an 8 week trip away from Kenya, travelling through Dubai, Mumbai, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand. In this blog I’ll be telling you how we did it with no money. For us it was a total trip of faith – that’s how we hang. If you’re not a Jesus follower, read the blog anyway with an open mind because it’s not something we can invent.

A bit different to how we look in Kenya.

A bit different to how we look in Kenya.

Hannah, our youngest was getting married on December 19th in NZ. Of course it’s something we wouldn’t/couldn’t miss, but we had no idea how we were going to do it. Our budget for living in Nairobi should be $3,500 a month, we get in around $2,000.

Hannah really looked stunning.

Hannah really looked stunning.

Until this year Liz has been getting in just under $800 on the disability pension from Australia. We knew it would be stopping in January. Each month we would use a couple of hundred dollars to put towards the budget. We didn’t like it, but the cost of living in Kenya is sky rocketing.

Hannah and Luke. The reason we took this trip.

Hannah and Luke. The reason we took this trip.

I remember complaining to God (He’s got big shoulders) saying I was over dipping into Lizzies pension money and He could find another way to find $5,000 to fly us home. She didn’t have enough in her account anyway but I wasn’t about to take any more.

In Auckland we stayed at my cousins - Jeff & Jeanettes.

In Auckland we stayed at my cousins – Jeff & Jeanette.

One Saturday we had a youth leaders meeting at our house. These are kids who run the child sponsorship monthly meeting, they also take about 90 minutes to get from the Kibera Slum to our place – many times they walk some of the way. We feed them lunch and then we do a bit of training. This day at the end we asked who had prayer requests. Some needed school fee money, others jobs, others provision – we needed 500,000 shillings. Remember, most of these kids live on 200 shillings a day.

Mathew, the leader prayed for us and for the wedding. This was on the Saturday.

On the Monday I’m in a meeting that is dragging on a bit so I check my emails on my phone and there’s a notification from a small church (The Embassy) in Sydney that supports us a small amount per month, instead it says there’s $2,000 this month. My heart skipped a beat and then I thought ‘maybe it’s meant to be $200 because we’ve been overpaid before, but $200 is awesome’. I send a Facebook message to someone in the know and leave it. The next day I get a reply that yes indeed, they decided to bless us with extra. I remember writing ‘thanks, you’ve just paid my flight home to my daughters’ wedding’.

Liz came with us to every meeting, sometimes 4 a day.

Liz came with us to every meeting, sometimes 4 a day.

On the Wednesday I emailed some friends who gave us $1,200 earlier in the year when we thought Pete’s dad was dying. We kept it aside for ‘the day’, which didn’t happen. They said we could use it for whatever. The same day, someone emailed me and asked how short we were for our flights home, I said $800. They said it would be in our account that day.

Ross & Ros are our faith partners in what we do.

Ross & Ros are our faith partners in what we do.

Within 4 days, God had heard the prayers of others and my whinging and supplied money for flights. Sure, we hop scotched around the globe on super cheap flights, but we did it.

So, we had our return flights sorted but that was it.

We saw the ocean from time to time but didn't play in it much.

We saw the ocean from time to time but didn’t play in it much.

When we got to NZ we had free accommodation at my cousins house and then our future in-laws lent us the ‘windy’ a super little car that kept going and going. However, that was it.

We flew in on the Friday and the next day we started our ‘furlough’. This is when you leave your work back on the field and spend endless days and nights visiting your current and potential supporters. Somewhere in the 2 months you’re meant to take a break – not something we achieved.

Evan and Moira used to pastor the church that supports us. This was before they went to NYC and us back to Kenya.

Evan and Moira used to pastor the church that supports us. This was before they went to NYC and us back to Kenya.

The plan was to be in Auckland with Hannah on the weekends and travel on the weeks. The week leading up to the wedding would be totally spent in Auckland.

That first Saturday we go and see some friends who we got to meet when they hosted us for a youth conference – 21 years ago. They gave us some money for ‘incidentals’ – for us that meant wedding clothes. We had nothing to wear to the wedding of the year. So that was provided for.

On our way around NZ we stopped in Waihi where Pete's family came from. This is the area being mined.

On our way around NZ we stopped in Waihi where Pete’s family came from. This is the area being mined.

Everywhere we went people fed us (a lot) whether that be at a café or in their homes – and they paid for it all. There were very few times we had to pay for anything, which was great because eating out in NZ is really expensive. There were times people gave us envelopes of cash, put money into our bank account or went out and bought us things.

Pete’s a country boy at heart. He milked cows a couple of mornings while we were staying with some friends on a farm. He loved it and it was the closest to getting a break. Not because he had helped with milking but because of the generosity of our friends, they gave us a fuel card to use for the next month. That meant all of our petrol costs were covered. Just as well because we ended up doing 3,000 kilometres in that time.

Pete milking cows in Cambridge.

Pete milking cows in Cambridge.

One of the things we kept praying for was $5,000 to give towards the wedding costs. It never came through. We felt really bad that we could contribute hardly anything. One thing we wanted to do was give our kids the deposit for a house when they got married. Going to serve in Africa killed that one. Sure, we pulled together some funds for a few homewares, wedding props and something towards the photographers, but it never felt enough. We have short term borders at our home and we managed to save that, but it wasn’t just the same.

So while we were super blessed to have our costs covered, this one thing never came through. I don’t know why but it is what it is.

One thing I did notice is that people who sacrificially give to us each month, went overboard in looking after us. Generosity is not just an action, it’s a part of a persons’ character. It was the same people who give to us, kept giving whether it was cash, cheques, petrol cards or gas vouchers. We especially noticed it in New Zealand because we were there for a month.

Uncle Bob knew Liz when she was just a toddler.

Uncle Bob knew Liz when she was just a toddler.

However, it wasn’t much different in Aussie. We had a friends’ house and car to use – for free. Sometimes we had 4 meetings a day. It was exhausting but good at the same time. Considering we weren’t meant to come back until June this year, we managed to fit in a lot. Again, people would just give us a blessing of cash, which was very cool.

Singapore was hot, humid and lots of fun.

Singapore was hot, humid and lots of fun.

I remember being there for a few days and we were in the car, Pete said “Well God, when’s it going to come through again?” The funds had dried up and this time we had to pay for petrol. That very same day someone gave us a few hundred dollars. It paid not only for our fuel but the hire car we needed for a couple of days at the end.

Last but not least, we needed $600 for travel insurance. Insurance isn’t one thing you can do without when you’re abroad, it’s not worth the risk. We hadn’t been insured for a couple of months and it’s not a nice feeling. In our last few days in Aussie, two people gave us cash which covered the whole amount. That will keep us going for 6 months and then we’ll get a 12 month policy in July.

No, we didn't go tenting.

No, we didn’t go tenting.

No, we never stayed in hotels (except a cheapy in Dubai on the way), we slept in lots (11) different beds. We caught 14 different flights. We spent endless hours in airports. We visited the beach 4 times in 2 months, the most spent was an hour.

Our ‘holiday’ was the day and a half with my cousins in Singapore but besides that it was head down and butt up.

There are two things this trip proved to me:

  • Nothing is a surprise for God, He knows what we need/want
  • Generous people are always generous, it’s who they are

Now we’re home and we, like you, have to keep believing God for more. In 5 weeks we move apartments to save money. It’s another opportunity to see what He will do for His kids.

Thank you to everyone who gave us a bed, meals, petrol, cars, flights, clothes, tools, coffees and more. You are not forgotten. You are appreciated and loved.

My friend Cath is part of our intercessors team.

My friend Cath is part of our intercessors team.